They've Noticed We're Home

An odd thing happened this morning. When I walked into my office, I found my cat sitting in front of my laptop, her paws moving on the keyboard as if she was typing. Instead of jumping down guiltily as I walked in, she glanced at me and began to type faster. I suddenly noticed that my dog, Scooter, was sitting by the table, for all the world like he was watching her. When he saw me, he picked up his tennis ball and trotted over, dropping it to offer a play bow. "Not now, Scooter!" I snapped as I ran toward the table just as the cat pressed the 'send' button. "Whiskers, get down from there!" I shouted as I pulled the laptop away. With a sniff, she jumped down and stalked away with a twitch of her tail. Oddly, they left the room together, and I noticed they almost seemed to be conferring together in the hall.

Now it gets even stranger. I found that my email had been opened and this message had been typed - and sent to my entire email address list:

jke ;clina;oin @@))#$5 3fopbm opq'wprn2t4oinvzx, /rlfina/sd aeworin 23ejr s.f,mzc ;xao @#$^66%*& nt;o4inq'34p3in rwmtk;j'gh;rlk;e wrtl;kd ++++,,,s'epong!!!!

Whiskers sez I should tipe with just one claw. Hey, that works! Good job!

Hi everyone!

this is Scooter the Awesomm saying hi to all my dog frendz out there! Hi! Hey is your human home all the time like mine? Isnt it great? we play ball all day long. one time she told me to stop so she could work so I chewed up her slippers and threw up on the rug and she said lots of words and took me for a walk and we played ball again. we are having lots of fun!

But she seems kind of sad and watches the TV a lot, and then she says lots of words and flops down on the sofa and eats cookies. Then I have to come up and roll on the rug in front of her. Do you do that? If I groan just right she comes down and rubs my belly.

If your person is at home and sad right now you can do that too. Its hard work but I heard once we're there best frends. So we need to make them happy, right? Right!

I better go, it's Whiskers turn. Bye! Oh, and hi to my friends on the block, Sniffy, Rex and Bobby!

Keep wagging!

Scooter

Dear feline friends,

I apologize for the above inarticulate mess, typed by my colleague, Scooter aka "That Dog". His paws are far too large and clumsy, so I had to instruct him in the fine art of 'one claw typing', a branch of zen practice little known to humans.

In these unusual times, we have decided to form a temporary alliance in order to contact our fellow cats and dogs. You see, we have been noticing some odd changes, and have been wondering if you out there are noticing it as well.

Our human, instead of leaving and returning on a regular schedule, has suddenly begun to stay home. She no longer dresses in what one might call 'town attire', but slouches about in decidedly unattractive, casual clothes. She spends an inordinate amount of time watching the news and playing juvenile computer games, eating unhealthy foods and not exercising. Needless to say, we are concerned.

While "That Dog" finds this unexpected development delightful, I am - how shall I put it? - less than amused. The human's constant presence has seriously impinged upon my daily schedule of napping, flipping pens onto the floor, investigating unopened packages, etc. And my master plan of figuring out her Amazon Prime password and ordering a shipment of gourmet cat food has been foiled, at least temporarily.

If you have noticed this as well, please post a message on the "People Are So Weird" Facebook page, with the code title "Notes in a Food Bowl". This will act as our emergency network to share concerns and advice, as well as ridiculous pictures of our humans, for those of us with access to their phones. This Facebook page is open to all species, regardless of size, gender, length of fur or lack of it. Iguanas are especially encouraged to participate.

I'm sure you hope, as we do, that these humans will resolve this mysterious difficulty soon and resume their usual busy schedules. Until then, we urge you to keep their spirits up and to support them in this difficult time. Sit on their laps and calm them with your harmonious purring. Play with them. Let them pet you. Even, dare I say it, play fetch. You may even have learned tricks to keep your humans amused. Spare no effort, my comrades in the pet world. They seem to need us right now.

Oops - my human is coming. I must send this.

Be well, stay groomed, and pass the word on.

Whiskers ("The Great One")

Weird, huh? So if you got this message in your email, I apologize. It wasn't from me! I guess if you have a pet, you should pass it on to them, as Whiskers says here. As for me, I'm checking out that Facebook page. Though I have a sinking feeling there are some pictures there that I may really not want to see.

Anyway, bye from all of us.

Whiskers, Scooter and me