Has this ever happened to you? You're in a crowded room, with lots of people talking. It's noisy, all a jumble of sound. You can hardly hear the person next to you in all that commotion, and your attention is wandering. And then you hear it - the one word that to you is just about the most important word in the world.
Your name.
It's odd, isn't it? Out of all the words swirling around us, that one word has the power to bring us to attention like nothing else. If someone says our name, even if it's in another room, or in a crowd, suddenly our ears perk up and we're alert.
It was one of the first words you heard as a newborn. All your life, it's been spoken to you, by parents, teachers, friends, partners, family. Bringing you to attention in class. Spoken, perhaps, in a wedding vow. Called out in waiting rooms. Whispered in love, or tossed out playfully by teasing friends. In painful moments, spoken in scorn or anger. It will probably be one of the last words you'll hear in this world.
How many times have you heard your name over the years, do you think?
Our names hold such power for each of us. In fact, scientists have found that when we hear our name spoken, our brains instantly respond. Chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin are released - the hormones of trust, compassion, pleasure and empathy. Our brains recognize our names even when we're asleep. Even a person lying in a coma, incredibly, responds to their name being spoken, especially by someone they know.
Dale Carnegie once said, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” That doesn't mean we're vain - it's just that our name is so central to who we are. So important, in fact, that when our name feels wrong, such as for someone who's transgender, it can be a powerful, courageous act to rename ourselves, so we can show the world our true selves.
It must be so hard for people who are all alone in the world. When nobody knows your name, when you never hear anyone speak that word, you start to feel invisible. You don't exist. You long to have someone, just once, turn and look you in the eye and say your name with a friendly smile. Have someone take the time to ask a few questions and really listen, like what you say really matters.
Loneliness. Here we are, connected all the time, scrolling and texting and sending each other pictures and updates all day long, and yet so many of us feel more alone than ever.
You know, watching the news and looking around at our fractured, frantic world, sometimes we wonder if we can do anything to help. But maybe the most powerful work we can do is right here in our own neighborhood, in the simple, humble conversations we have every day.
What can I do today, to stitch this sad world back together? I can look you in the eye. I can take a little time for a friendly word. I can say your name with a smile. I can see you.
Think of the people you meet as you move through your day - the grocery clerk, the guy on the sidewalk holding his sign, the waitress in the cafe, the neighbor you see every morning, the elderly woman sitting near you in the waiting room. Every one of them, with their names, their stories, their need.
You have so much power for good!
Today, I'm going to make that my quiet mission. I've got errands to do and people to call. I'm going to smile, and listen, and show friendly interest and respect. I'm going to look at name tags or introduce myself, and ask and remember people's names. If there's time, I'll toss out a friendly comment on the weather or compliment somebody's shoes, or maybe even start a conversation. And if they need to talk, I'm going to stay and listen.
Even if we only have a few moments together, I can be present and look them in the eye and say their names.
Nice to meet you. Thanks so much. Have a great day!
Person by person, name by name, one smile at a time, I'm going to go out and heal the world.
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